Thanksgiving and Divorce: Finding Gratitude in the Midst of Change
- Charene Sutherland
- Oct 12
- 2 min read
Thanksgiving is a time often centered around family, togetherness, and gratitude. But when you’re going through a divorce—or living through your first holiday season after one—it can also be a time filled with grief, loneliness, and mixed emotions.
The holiday that once brought laughter around the table may now bring an empty chair, unfamiliar traditions, or new faces you’re still learning to accept. The question becomes: how do you find gratitude when your heart is hurting and your family looks different than it used to?
1. Let Go of the Picture-Perfect Holiday
It’s easy to scroll through social media or remember past holidays and feel the sting of loss. But perfection isn’t what makes Thanksgiving meaningful—connection, peace, and presence are. This year, give yourself permission to create a different kind of Thanksgiving. Maybe it’s smaller. Maybe it’s quieter. Maybe it’s just you and your kids, or even a solo day of reflection and rest. That’s okay. You’re not failing—you’re evolving.
2. Acknowledge What You’ve Lost
Divorce is a series of losses—of routines, traditions, and relationships that once shaped your world. Avoiding that pain doesn’t make it go away; acknowledging it helps you heal. Take time to reflect on what feels heavy this year. Journal. Talk to someone you trust. Cry if you need to. Healing begins when we stop pretending everything’s fine and start allowing ourselves to feel what’s real.
3. Focus on What Remains
Even in seasons of loss, there are blessings that remain—your children, your health, your strength, your resilience, your future. Gratitude isn’t about ignoring pain; it’s about noticing light even in the dark. Try writing down three things each morning you’re thankful for. They don’t have to be grand—sometimes it’s a hot cup of coffee, a hug from your child, or a quiet moment of peace.
4. Redefine “Family”
Divorce doesn’t erase family—it reshapes it. Maybe your Thanksgiving now includes co-parenting arrangements, blended gatherings, or alternating years. This can feel awkward or sad at first, but it can also open the door to new traditions and healing. Your family isn’t defined by who sits around your table—it’s defined by love, respect, and the effort you put into showing up with compassion, even when it’s hard.
5. Give Yourself Grace
You don’t have to be “over it.” You don’t have to host. You don’t have to be cheerful all day. Healing takes time. If Thanksgiving feels overwhelming, simplify it. Order takeout, go for a walk, visit friends, or start a new ritual that feels authentic to where you are right now. The goal isn’t to recreate the past—it’s to build peace in the present.
Finding Gratitude in Growth
Divorce often feels like an ending, but over time, it becomes clear that it’s also a beginning. You’re rebuilding—not just your life, but yourself. This Thanksgiving, give thanks for your courage to start over. For your willingness to keep showing up. For the possibility of brighter days ahead.
Because gratitude, even in the hardest seasons, is what helps us heal and move forward. 🍂
At Healthy Future Divorce Mediation and Coaching, we help individuals and families navigate the transition of divorce with compassion, clarity, and hope for a better future.
📞 306-900-4575
Comments